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40th over: New Zealand 178-6 (Blundell 70, Smith 21) Smith clips Atkinson into the leg side for successive boundaries. He’s got a lovely attitude with bat and ball and has been one of the positives for New Zealand in this series. Smith numbers aren’t great but he’s got something about him.
“I fear England followers may be too pleased with the state of this series,” writes Kim Thonger. “We all know schadenfreude, and deploy it mainly when the French, Germans, Australians, I could go on, lose at football, cricket, darts, I could go on… But there’s a little known ‘English’ word!
“Epicaricacy.
“Epicaricacy and schadenfreude both describe taking pleasure in others’ misfortunes, but they differ slightly in usage and connotation. Epicaricacy is an English term that is less commonly used and often considered more neutral or less intense. It might be applied to minor misfortunes, like someone slipping on a banana peel. Schadenfreude, a German term, is more widely recognised and can imply a deeper, sometimes more malicious delight, especially in significant or deserved misfortune. Both terms encapsulate a similar emotional experience but vary in their cultural and linguistic nuances.
“Anyhoo. Could we all please agree that whenever the England cricket team are ‘on top’, they should deploy epicaricacy rather than schadenfreude? We are kind polite people in this sceptered isle, are we not?”
We are?
39th over: New Zealand 170-6 (Blundell 70, Smith 13) Blundell bottom-edges Bashir back onto the stumps – but the bails stay on! That’s bonkers. It’s blowing a gale in Wellington, the ball thumped the outside of off stump, yet the bails stayed in their groove. Disgusting.
Blundell celebrates his reprieve by launching Bashir back over his head and out of the ground. That’s his third six. New Zealand have scored 60 off the last seven overs.
38th over: New Zealand 164-6 (Blundell 64, Smith 13) Another beautiful stroke from Blundell, this time a back-foot force to the extra cover boundary off Atkinson. New Zealand are going down in a blaze of boundaries. Smith moves to 13 from six balls with a wristy flick through midwicket.
“Just travelled to a wedding of friends Spice and Shadie (classic Aussie nicknames) in Sydney and was chatting to Aussies and about the series with India and obviously England against the Kiwis,” writes John Butler.
“One nice thing about these series, and the fact New Zealand just rolled India over in India, is that Test series are quite competitive and the procession of teams winning their home series no longer seems inevitable. Just hope it continues to the Ashes next winter.”
It’s been a classic year of Test cricket, and the point you make about reduced home advantage is spot on. Mind you, some of the series have still been one-sided. New Zealand beat India 3-0 and may well lose this series 3-0 to a side who lost 4-1 in India at the start of the year. I guess within those scorelines (actual and possible) there were some close games. And most importantly, the big series of the year looks like it will be perfectly poised at 1-1 with three to play.
37th over: New Zealand 155-6 (Blundell 59, Smith 9) Blundell has a bit of fortune when a bottom-edged cut flies past off stump. He gets a single, which allows Smith to launch Bashir down the ground for six. It was the second ball of his innings, and apparently this is normal behavour now.
36th over: New Zealand 145-6 (Blundell 58, Smith 0) Blundell misses one flick off Atkinson – the slips went up for LBW but the bowler knew it was missing leg – then nails a similar shot between midwicket and mid-on for four. Thta’s a lovely shot again. This innings will look good on YouTube.
“I am the guy with wisdom tooth pain from last night,” writes Tom Bancroft. “Can you apologise to the John Rae with toothache from earlier. I thought it was my brother in law in NZ having a joke. Turns out it was a different John Rae – who is my brother in dental pain.”
I’ll level with you, I’m reasonably confused right now.
35th over: New Zealand 141-6 (Blundell 54, Smith 0) When England last won a Test series in New Zealand, Shoaib Bashir and Jacob Bethell were four years old.
WICKET! New Zealand 141-6 (Phillips b Bashir 16)
Bashir tosses up a tempting wider delivery to Phillips, who blasts it over wide mid-off for a stunning flat six. A long hop is hoicked for four more – but Bashir has the last word with a ball that skids on to bowl Phillips! Whether it was deliberate or natural variation, that’s a lovely moment for Bashir.
Phillips looked suspciously at the pitch, and the ball may have kept a touch low, but he’s on his way for 16. England are four wickets away from a series victory.
34th over: New Zealand 129-5 (Blundell 54, Phillips 4) Blundell reaches a 56-ball fifty with a delightful stroke, timing Atkinson through backward point for four. Well played indeed. This is only his second half-century in the last 27 Test innings, and the first at home since the Wellington epic of February 2023.
When Atkinson errs again later in the over, Blundell plays a very similar stroke for for more. Whatever the match situation, it takes serious courage to play with such freedom when you know it could be your last Test innings.
33rd over: New Zealand 121-5 (Blundell 46, Phillips 4) Blundell clatters Bashir back over his head for four, then drives mightily over mid-on for six. Shot! He’s starting to look like the man who scored 650 runs in five Tests against England in 2022 and 2023, and this could develop into a career-saving innings.
32nd over: New Zealand 110-5 (Blundell 35, Phillips 4) Glenn Phillips gets off the mark with a back cut for four. The Mitchell wicket was Atkinson’s fifth of the game; his rhythm has been much better in this game.
WICKET! New Zealand 106-5 (Mitchell c Pope b Atkinson 32)
Gus Atkinson strikes with a jaffa! He replaced Woakes after the drinks break and immediately took care of Mitchell with a perfectly pitched delivery that straightened to take the edge as Mitchell pushed defensively. Ollie Pope did the rest.
Mitchell sniffed and screwed his face up as if to say, ‘Not much I could do with that’. It was a beauty.
Thanks Tanya, morning everyone. Meanwhile…
31st over: New Zealand 106-4 (Mitchell 32, Blundell 35) Pope sticks the bails back on after the wind lifts them off – a deftly done job for someone wearing glorified oven gloves. A couple of singles, and as they take DRINKS at Wellington, I hand this Test over to Rob Smyth who will take you through to stumps/result. Thanks for all your messages – on crumbles, on elegant batters, on dentists – have a lovely night. Bye!
30th over: New Zealand 104-4 (Mitchell 31, Blundell 34) Woakes walks back to his mark, scowling into the wind. Blundell picks up a couple through midwicket, the partnership grows to 46.
29th over: New Zealand 97-4 (Mitchell 31, Blundell 31) Bashir turns on his heel: One, one, one, one, dot, dot.
28th over: New Zealand 97-4 (Mitchell 29, Blundell 29) Woakes still finding bounce on this day three pitch. Blundell pays it little attention. Another maiden floats by.
“Andrew Crossley, who has probably long gone to bed, writes wrote “ I’ll bite on your Root-as-most-watchable comment. I think I may agree with you. Tendulkar was magisterial, but not as easy on the eye. Kallis was brutally effective, but nobody’s idea of elegant. To my regret, I just didn’t see enough of Sanga to judge, but if he batted as elegantly as he commentates, he’d be a shoe-in. Ponting is a serious challenger, though: as much as I was desperate for him to fail, he was great to watch. And his swivel-pull was one of the great cricket shots.”
27th over: New Zealand 97-4 (Mitchell 29, Blundell 29) A sudden change of pace as Blundell eyes up a dolly from Bashir and slams it back over his head for four. Then we return to stoicism.
26th over: New Zealand 91-4 (Mitchell 28, Blundell 24) Blundell gently opens the face and sends the ball to the rope, waving to the slips on its way. Woakes trudges on.
Hello showbizguru. “Talking of gusting winds when I began the very long slog home from the first NZ test on Thursday my first flight from Dunedin to Christchurch was cancelled due to the high winds which the South Island is prone too.
“Five flights and a coach/train home from Heathrow this morning I was forced to abandon my journey with one stop to go after Storm Darragh brought part of the roof down on the tracks, closing my local station.”
“ Ah bugger “ as Unlucky Alf would say.
25th over: New Zealand 85-4 (Mitchell 27, Blundell 20) Bashir, collar up, sleeves wrinkled, shirt rippling in the wind. Mitchell is content wiht a single.
“Hello again Tanya.” Hello again James Brough.
“I thought about Viv and Pant. Stewart won out over Pant because i needed an opener, plus how much I used to enjoy watching him. As for Viv, there just wasn’t anyone I could bring myself to leave out. During the late 80’s, Azharuddin was the only man who could make batting look as easy as Gower at his best. I think it was Angus Fraser who compared Azha’s flick through midwicket with bowling at a revolving door – there’d be a flurry of movement, almost too fast for the eye to follow, and the ball would vanish to the boundary. And then Lara, with the highest backlift I’ve ever seen and bat speed like a striking cobra.
“As a sidenote, I’m vaguely peeved that I’ve not been able to find space for Richard Hadlee or Phil Edmonds. Who’d be a selector?”
24th over: New Zealand 85-4 (Mitchell 26, Blundell 20) Woakes ticks off another maiden.
23rd over: New Zealand 85-4 (Mitchell 26, Blundell 20) Sensible singles.
22nd over: New Zealand 82-4 (Mitchell 25, Blundell 18) Woakes returns, and immediately turns in a neat maiden. This is better from New Zealand.
Hello John Burton. “It probably shows my age, but Tom Graveney immediately came to my mind. I can’t argue he’d strengthen the team, but he certainly wouldn’t reduce its ‘ease on the eye’.” A great call. We just won’t make him do too much running. Was he a good slip fielder?
21st over: New Zealand 82-4 (Mitchell 25, Blundell 18) Blundell neatly sends Bashir though the covers and Rehan fields inelegantly in the deep
20th over: New Zealand 78-4 (Mitchell 24, Blundell 15) On the grassy banks, people lounge in shorts and fleeces as Mitchell survives some hostile stuff from Carse.
“Tanya, I am Thomas Bancroft, he of the wisdom teeth related pain from yesterday. Tonight I am still on the ibuprofen and bonjela and listening to the cricket again for extra analgesia. John Rae, of the emergency dentist tonight, is actually my brother in law. I am not pointing fingers but he is known as a bit of a joker…. and an attention seeker. I’d ask him for a dentist certificate if I were you or a photo from the emergency dental hospital. I you hear from him tell him I miss him.”
Right, both of you, certificates in my inbox.
19th over: New Zealand 76-4 (Mitchell 22, Blundell 15) Bashir extracts sudden turn, the ball ripping from wide of off stump. New Zealand watchful. The first aim must be to get to day four.
18th over: New Zealand 72-4 (Mitchell 22, Blundell 11) Blundell keeps Carse out.
Hello Stephen Hodson. “England’s declaration may have seemed rather delayed, given the mountain NZ are tasked with tackling. However, there was a Nathan Astle innings, years ago, chasing a seemingly impossible total, which may have influenced Ben Stokes’ timing somewhat. Well, that and allowing Joe to duly complete his milestone century.”
Astle’s 222? I was actually there – it was pinch-yourself unbelievable. And very funny.
17th over: New Zealand 71-4 (Mitchell 22, Blundell 10) Time for some spin. Bashir rolls up his sleeves and beats the bat once in an opening maiden.
16th over: New Zealand 71-4 (Mitchell 22, Blundell 10) Blundell gets a life as Bethell can’t hold on at third slip, imagine a man unsucessfully trying to get his hands on a leaping trout while standing up in a rowing boat. Next ball, Blundell swings Carse for six.
Afternoon session
15th over: New Zealand 59-4 (Mitchell 20, Blundell 0) Atkinson finishes the over he had one ball of before lunch. He misses his run up off consecutive deliveries. Just the one run off the over.
Hello again James Brough! “So, I got to thinking about who I’d put in a team solely based on how good they looked playing and I came up with this.
Alec Stewart (keeper)
Gordon Greenidge
David Gower
Joe Root
Brian Lara
Mohammed Azharuddin
Gary Sobers (capt)
Moeen Ali
Michael Holding
Dennis Lillee
Bishen Bedi
For a team chosen largely on aesthetics, that’s come out pretty well – I think I’d back them against pretty much anyone. Thoughts?”
Viv? And how about Rishabh Pant instead of Alec Stewart – I know he doesn’t exactly fit the bill but he would add some sparks.
We watch a lunchtime reel of Woakes and Carse’s highlights – the verdict from the commentary team is that New Zealand were “just outclassed.”
The covers are now off and it looks as if we will start on time after lunch. Time to peer into the inbox:
“ Someone commented yesterday about wisdom teeth,” writes John Rae. “(I believe it was Thomas Bancroft). “I’m in my house in Wellington and was going to go down to the Basin for this afternoon’s session. But alas I’ve now got toothache and will be visiting the emergency dentist instead! Not sure what’s worse.”
Maybe they will have it on telly in the surgery and you can double your pain?
“Speaking of crumbles” writes Colum Fordham “well done Tom vdG on his initiation into the blackberry and apple variant (probably my favourite although damson crumble is on the same level) – New Zealand seem to be well and truly crumbling in the face of some fine England seam bowling in very English conditions. Woakes appears to be playing on home turf and is bowling sublimely.”
“Here in Naples I just had the Italian variant on crumble -sbricciolona – which wasn’t bad. Though not quite in the same league, British fare for once eclipsing Italian cuisine.”
I just googled sbricciolona – looks delicious
David Gower is chatting through a rainy lunch break:“What England have managed to do so well in this game is get through very tricky moments. England had all the fun they wanted with the bat then the bowlers were great. Chris Woakes was brilliant running into the breeze.”
Lunch! New Zealand 59-4, trail by 524
14th over: New Zealand 59-4 (Mitchell 20, Blundell 0) The rain starts to fall, but too late for Ravindra. New Zealand’s resolve weakened in the face of Woakes and Carse, who sliced through the top order. Time for sandwiches in Wellington and a coffee for me. Back soon, with lots more emails.
WICKET! Ravindra c Pope b Carse 6 (New Zealand 59-4)
That’s torn it. Ravindra loosely lunges at a wide one from Carse and Pope does the rest. Ravindra throws his head back and roars – with lunch five minutes away, he must trudge back.
13th over: New Zealand 57-3 (Ravindra 5, Mitchell 19) Mitchell is feeling frisky this morning – two fours fly off the bat off Atkinson – a stylish drive and ana more reckless edge through gully.
Going back to the most watchable batters….”I think I’d agree,” says James Brough. “Of the top five, I don’t think any of them have the combination of elegance, cheek and precision that Root has. Possibly the most watchable batsman since Lara? And Lara, in turn was probably the best to watch since the days of Azharuddin and Gower.”
12th over: New Zealand 48-3 (Ravindra 4, Mitchell 11) Another bit of comedy fielding from Woakes, who this time dives onto the ball. A pocketful of singles off Carse.
The top six batting partnerships of the series all belong to England. New Zealand need to turn the tide now – their highest partnership to date is 69.
11th over: New Zealand 45-3 (Ravindra 2, Mitchell 10) Mitchell, who picked up four off Carse, does the same to Atkinson, with a crisp drive. In the field, Woakes sees the funny side of diving over the ball, waves an apology in the direction of the bowler
“Evening Tanya,” Nice to hear from you, Tom Hopkins.
”I feel Tom vd G’s pain at things left late, for me it was picking up a musical instrument, but it’s never too late and I’ve found as a grown up I learn and appreciate learning in a different way.
”There’s also a particular joy, I think in sharing baking you’ve tried with others. It might not be perfect, but it’s a bit of you.
”Also, might I suggest a bit of clove and cinnamon added to the crumble mix? Just makes it feel a bit more special.”
Next time – thank you!