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Hello, happy Sunday! I hope you’re well. Personally, I’m enjoying the dropping temperatures and the feeling that this year will soon be over. My current anthem is “This Year” by The Mountain Goats, and it feels true: I will make it through this year if it kills me. I’m ready for colder temperatures and socially acceptable hibernation.
Can I share one of my most vivid fantasies with y’all? We’re friends, right? Sometimes, I think about how it would feel to take a year away from the Internet and having an iPhone. I envision a life where my brain isn’t influenced by the accomplishments I see others celebrating and I don’t feel consistently sucked into buying dumb things. I realize that the often-posted sentiment “I miss my pre-internet brain” has become trite and twee, but it’s often how I feel. Every few months, I tell myself I’m going to buy a Light Phone (I’m OBSESSED, but it feels silly?), deactivate my Instagram account, finally fully delete Facebook, and write only in notebooks. I would buy this analog hat (Blackwing) and become one of those annoyingly self-righteous people, like that friend we’ve all had who doesn’t own a TV and claims they “don’t use their time for television.” WE KNOW YOU WATCH ON YOUR LAPTOP, SETTLE DOWN.
I’d like a factory reset of my brain. Because I am old, I remember the era when my brain wasn’t constantly craving the dopamine hits of my phone, I could read book after book, I allowed myself to be bored, to make things, and to be capable of original thought. I also know that for many of us creative, writerly folks, the constant onslaught of seeing people getting book deals or publishing or having all of these incredible opportunities can make me feel perpetually unsuccessful. I am exhausted by the vitriol in comments sections and feeling like everyone is angry or hustling or offering their life up for content.
I don’t know how realistic this fantasy is: I like taking iPhone photos. I like keeping in touch with people via Instagram and laughing at memes. I like online shopping (too much). I’m actively trying to build a writing career, and “having a platform” is a big deal.
I might decide to go all in on a year away from the internet and see how long I can make it how it feels, but until I decide how serious I am, I’m focusing on slowing down, taking things moment by moment, and doing miniature recalibrations of how my life looks and feels. I’ll give you all a heads-up if I decide to become a shunner of the Internet, but until then, let me know how you slow down and give your brain a break. Sending you all my good wishes and thoughts during these darker, grayer months.
• Wintering by Katherine May is my ultimate guidebook to slowing down, and I’m about to get into a re-read. A friend also recommended Slowing by Rachel Schwartzmann, and I just downloaded it. (Bookshop)
• Keeping the theme of the week with the piece “How to stop checking your phone every 10 seconds.” (Time)
• News you can use: the difference between a pinch and a dash. Also, if I never hear the phrase “measure with your heart” again, I’d be a happier person, I just know it. (Food and Wine)
• As a big Patchett-head, I loved this piece on Ann Patchett’s biggest regret. In a similar vein, poet Mary Ruefle does not own a computer. (NYT Gift Link, Substack)
• We’ve lost the plot on menopause. Perimenopause and menopause, and the lack of information about both, are two of my biggest rants right now. We quite literally don’t know…anything? And as a perimenopausal lady, any time I Google a symptom, it gives me the same answer: probably perimenopause, but IDK. Infuriating! (Allure)
• How to gently encourage a loved one to go to therapy. If you’re reading this, and you know I love you, and you’re not in therapy? Yes, this link is about you. (Self)
• Fall is time for cinnamon, and it’s also time for easy recipes. I’m grateful for Joy’s mom’s Sock It To Me cake recipe to meet this need. (Joy the Baker)
• Every year, I lovingly threaten to host a Soup Swap. Will this be the year I do it? If so, I’m using this guide from The Kitchn to help. (The Kitchn)
• What we know about Season 3 of Tell Me Lies and Season 3 of Big Little Lies. SO MUCH LYING. SO MUCH BAD/GOOD TV! (Marie Claire, Vulture)
• I love Chani Nicholas and I might have to treat myself to her new yearbook. (Chani Nicholas)
• If you’re into Halloween and want some seasonally-appropriate foods, here are 31 recipes to try! (The Everygirl)
• How I fell back in love with iPhone photography. (The New Yorker)
• “Art begins in the body; art is limited by the limitations of the body; at some point, art exceeds the body and can live beyond the scope of flesh.” Lauren Groff + Florence Welch = MAGIC (NYT gift link)
• Questions about early voting? Get them answered here. (TIME)
• Lisa Taddeo is one of my very favorite writers, and I loved this relatable piece about how she gets things done (we love an alarm-setting queen!). (The Cut)
• I thought this was a sweet and fun article about dinner party games and then I saw that the first one literally suggests throwing a glass of water in someone’s face. If someone did this to me, I simply would not ever let it go. (House and Garden)
• The benefits of alone time. (TIME)
• Fall is for scones, and these cranberry beauties are IT. (Joy The Baker)
• Why getting a manicure makes everything feel better. I’m a big fan of my bi-weekly mani-pedi appointments, and it’s true: I feel better about everything when my nails are done! (Self)