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Key events
Bournemouth 0-0 Everton. More injury news, as Armando Broja is forced off. Dominic Calvert-Lewin is his replacement.
Manchester City 1-0 West Ham. The visitors haven’t been disheartened by conceding early. Mateo Kovacic is forced to take a booking for the team with Crysencio Summerville threatening to wriggle free. Then Lucas Paqueta shoots wide. The Hammers have had their chances.
Ayr United 3-0 Raith Rovers. Going a bit off-piste here, but there’s good reason for it. George Oakley has just completed a hat-trick in 23 minutes in the Scottish Championship for the Honest Men. Not exactly an ideal start to life as Raith manager for Barry Robson.
Southampton 0-1 Brentford. Another gang of Londoners on the road come close to doubling their lead. Christan Norgaard hits the bar. It’s all Brentford.
Crystal Palace 0-1 Chelsea. Title-chasing Chelsea look in the mood this afternoon. A huge chance for Nicolas Jackson to double their lead at Selhurst, but he misplaces his volley from close range.
Aston Villa 0-0 Leicester. Yep, John McGinn is unable to continue. Jacob Ramsey comes on in his place.
Bournemouth 0-0 Everton. “Morning greetings from Free State California,” begins Mary Waltz. “I am settling into my recliner as Everton settles into their defensive stance, praying for a chance to counter. We are actually starting off with a few chances but our lack of quality in finishing is evident as well. Sigh.”
Peter Oh adds: “Cherries v Toffees is hands down the sweetest, most decadent fixture of the day. A real test of New Year’s resolutions.”
God bless you both, because bugger all else is happening.
Aston Villa 0-0 Leicester. Bad news for Villa, as their captain John McGinn goes down clutching his hamstring. No sub yet, but the early signs aren’t great.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-1 Chelsea (Palmer 14)
It’s Cole Palmer. Who else? But hats off also to Jadon Sancho, who started the move with an outrageous dummy on the halfway line.
Bournemouth 0-0 Everton. Antoine Semenyo meets Ryan Christie’s cross and converts, but he’s clearly offside and the flag goes up.
Manchester City 1-0 West Ham. The Hammers had been looking good to take a shock lead, as well, Mohammed Kudus missing two big chances just before the opener. The margins are small in this here Premier League.
GOAL! Manchester City 1-0 West Ham (Coufal og 10)
Savinho crosses. A big deflection off Vladimir Coufal, and City are back, baby!
GOAL! Southampton 0-1 Brentford (Schade 6)
Kevin Schade celebrates his recall by springing the offside trap and opening the scoring at St Mary’s. Brentford have only picked up two points on the road so far this season, but already they’re on track to double that tally and then some.
Crystal Palace 0-0 Chelsea. It’s all Chelsea in the early exchanges at Selhurst Park. Oliver Glasner is sporting the sort of chunky white sweater that wouldn’t look out of place in Whisky Galore or I Know Where I’m Going.
Bournemouth 0-0 Everton. No super-early goals in the Premier League, but there’s been a super-early booking at Dean Court, where Jarrad Branthwaite clatters into Evanilson and is dealt with accordingly. Could be a long afternoon for the big defender against the in-form Cherries, who are seven unbeaten.
It’s 3pm. Whistles sound all across the land. Here we go!
There were three early kick-offs in the Championship. Here are your classified results.
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Blackburn Rovers 0-1 Burnley
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Stoke City 0-0 Plymouth Argyle
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Swansea City 1-1 West Bromwich Albion
Burnley won the East Lancs derby at Ewood Park thanks to Zian Flemming’s diving header. That consolidates second spot for Scott Parker’s team. There was a small post-match brouhaha between Parker and his opposite number John Eustace, something about a perceived handshake snub by Parker, but it was apparently an innocent mistake and apologies were offered and accepted. Everyone stand down!
At the other end of the table, Wayne Rooney’s Plymouth earned a point at Stoke to keep within swiping distance of their relegation rivals. And somewhere in the middle of the table, Joe Allen notched an injury-time equaliser for Swansea against managerless West Brom.
That win for Newcastle ensures they’ll stay in fifth spot this weekend. Manchester City, Bournemouth and Aston Villa will try to whittle away at the four-point gap that’s been established. It’s possible that the Toon could rise to fourth, but that’d require Crystal Palace to give Chelsea a good thrashing. Spurs meanwhile can’t escape the bottom half, and could end the weekend as low as 14th should Brentford, West Ham and Manchester United all win away, though you’d get good odds on that particular perm.
FULL TIME: Tottenham Hotspur 1-2 Newcastle United. It’s a fifth Premier League win in a row for the in-form Toon. By contrast, it’s now just one win in eight for Spurs, and that against bottom club Southampton. A few boos on the whistle. Oh Ange. Barry Glendenning tells the story in the popular minute-by-minute idiom.
Southampton v Brentford teams
Southampton: Ramsdale, Harwood-Bellis, Bednarek, Wood-Gordon, Bree, Ugochukwu, Aribo, Walker-Peters, Dibling, Onuachu, Sulemana.
Subs: McCarthy, Manning, Armstrong, Lallana, Sugawara, Brereton, Archer, Taylor, Bella-Kotchap.
Brentford: Flekken, Roerslev, Collins, van den Berg, Lewis-Potter, Jensen, Norgaard, Damsgaard, Mbeumo, Wissa, Schade.
Subs: Arthur, Yogane, Kim, Maghoma, Janelt, Konak, Meghoma, Yarmolyuk, Valdimarsson.
Saints make two changes to the team that started the 2-1 defeat at Crystal Palace. Lesley Ugochukwu and Kamaldeen Sulemana replace Adam Armstrong, who drops to the bench, and the suspended Mateus Fernandes. Brentford also make two changes, after their 3-1 loss to Arsenal. Kevin Schade and Mathias Jensen replace benched duo Vitaly Janelt and Yehor Yarmoliuk.
Man City v West Ham teams
Man City: Ortega, Lewis, Akanji, Ake, Gvardiol, Kovacic, Foden, De Bruyne, Silva, Savio, Haaland.
Subs: Carson, Walker, Grealish, Doku, Gundogan, Matheus Luiz, Simpson-Pusey, O’Reilly, McAtee.
West Ham: Areola, Coufal, Todibo, Kilman, Wan-Bissaka, Alvarez, Soucek, Kudus, Lucas Paqueta, Summerville, Fullkrug.
Subs: Scarles, Irving, Rodriguez, Ings, Luis Guilherme, Mavropanos, Soler, Cresswell, Foderingham.
Manchester City are unchanged following their back-on-the-horse win at Leicester. If it ain’t broke, right? West Ham give Niclas Fullkrug a rare start up front, with Jarrod Bowen out injured. Tomas Soucek takes over from Bowen as captain.
Crystal Palace v Chelsea teams
Crystal Palace: Henderson, Richards, Lacroix, Guehi, Munoz, Doucoure, Lerma, Mitchell, Sarr, Eze, Mateta.
Subs: Turner, Nketiah, Schlupp, Clyne, Kamada, Riad, Devenny, Kporha, Agbinone.
Chelsea: Sanchez, Gusto, Acheampong, Colwill, Cucurella, Fernandez, Caicedo, Pedro Neto, Palmer, Sancho, Jackson.
Subs: Jorgensen, Disasi, Adarabioyo, Madueke, Joao Felix, Nkunku, James, Guiu, Veiga.
Crystal Palace welcome back Marc Guehi from suspension. Trevoh Chalobah is ineligible to play against his parent club. Chelsea make five changes after the loss at Ipswich. Robert Sanchez, Josh Acheampong, Nicolas Jackson, Malo Gusto and Pedro Neto replace Filip Jorgensen, Tosin Adarabioyo, Noni Madueke, Joao Felix and Christopher Nkunku, all of whom drop to the bench.
Aston Villa v Leicester City teams
Aston Villa: Martinez, Cash, Konsa, Mings, Digne, Kamara, Barkley, Bailey, Tielemans, McGinn, Watkins.
Subs: Olsen, Buendia, Nedeljkovic, Maatsen, Onana, Bogarde, Ramsey, Swinkels, Jimoh.
Leicester: Stolarczyk, Justin, Coady, Vestergaard, Thomas, Winks, Soumare, Ayew, El Khannous, Mavididi, Vardy.
Subs: Iversen, Faes, Okoli, De Cordova-Reid, Choudhury, Daka, Skipp, Alves, Buonanotte.
Villa make three changes after the 2-2 draw with Brighton. Tyrone Mings, Matty Cash and Ross Barkley are in; Pau Torres is injured, Morgan Rogers is suspended, and Diego Carlos is also absent. Leicester make two changes in the wake of their 2-0 defeat by Manchester City. Jordan Ayew and Luke Thomas replace Facundo Buonanotte and Victor Kristiansen.
AFC Bournemouth v Everton teams
AFC Bournemouth: Travers, Hill, Zabarnyi, Huijsen, Kerkez, Christie, Cook, Semenyo, Kluivert, Ouattara, Evanilson.
Subs: Arrizabalaga, Brooks, Adams, Unal, Billing, Aarons, Winterburn, Kinsey-Wellings, Rees-Dottin.
Everton: Pickford, Young, Tarkowski, Branthwaite, Mykolenko, Mangala, Gueye, Doucoure, Lindstrom, Broja, Ndiaye.
Subs: Virginia, Begovic, Patterson, Keane, Calvert-Lewin, Harrison, Beto, O’Brien, Armstrong.
Bournemouth make three changes after their draw at Fulham. Mark Travers, Justin Kluivert and Dango Ouattara are in; Kepa, Philip Billing and David Brooks drop to the bench. Everton make one change after their home loss to Nottingham Forest. Jesper Lindstrom replaces Jack Harrison.
Preamble
It’s the first Clocko™®© of 2025, and what a line-up of Premier League-infused 3pm fun we have in store. Look!
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AFC Bournemouth v Everton
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Aston Villa v Leicester City
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Crystal Palace v Chelsea
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Manchester City v West Ham United
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Southampton v Brentford
Other matches are also available, and we’ll discuss those on an ad-hoc basis if you don’t mind. Team news ahoy!